I’ve made it through 29 weeks of pregnancy so I think it is safe to say I’m somewhat educated on what being pregnant is like. With that being said, there are a few things that I’m tired of hearing or tired of being asked…or the best…tired of unsolicited advice. Yes, advice can be welcomed when it is said at the right time when it is appropriate. Otherwise, this person is just asserting their dominance over you. I don’t know about you, but I don’t respond well to those people.
[pullquote width=”750″ float=”left”]Let’s stop giving out advice and start giving out hugs![/pullquote]
The worst is when it comes from a loved one or family. It may change a the trajectory of the relationship, plus failure to follow through can be a signal of lack of respect. BUT, I always tell myself…it is my life. Everyone’s story is different and because your experience was exhibit A does not mean mine will do that. I keep my tongue in my mouth when I want to give my own advice because more likely than not, that person just wants someone to listen and needs validation. They don’t want my sob story because essentially, it is about them.
So when I get unsolicited advice or a wag of finger when I explain what I’m doing during my pregnancy, I just smile, say a few choice words in my head, and walk away. Because no one wants to see a pregnant woman go ape-shit.
So I have come up with the top quotes I’m (or any pregnant woman is) tired of hearing.
[line] What Pregnant Women are Tired of Hearing [line]
How are you feeling?
Pregnant. I feel pregnant. You try carrying another human who is taking over your abdominal cavity, dancing on your bladder and kicking your ribs. I feel tired all the time and essentially, I just feel pregnant. I know this is a go-to question for everyone who sees me, but everyone asks me. And I know it’s because they care about me, especially family and friends, but it’s getting tiring for me to answer. Just know that I’m waddling along and hopefully this baby makes his/her exit on or before the due date. If something was wrong, the right people will know.
Sleep while you can because you won’t be sleeping in the future!
I’d be lucky if I can get a full night’s sleep right now. I’m waking up constantly to empty my bladder. It’s not helpful for any parent-to-be to hear those words. Talk about pushing bad karma your way. And it’s not even given in best spirits, either. So if you want to come visit my baby, you can come by between 1am-6am since it seems like you’re getting more sleep than my hubby and I will be getting.
Oh, you’re so-so along? I wasn’t that big until I was so-so weeks!
Like, excuse me? Talk about an arrogant braggart. Maybe I’m just really good at growing a baby. Step away from me before I throw my bag of Salt & Vinegar chips at you then pick them up because I’m hungry AF. As I said before, everyone’s pregnancy journey is different. Every woman’s body is different. There is no need to compare one woman’s body to another. That’s just plan bitchy.
Are you supposed to be eating/drinking that?
I make sensible decisions based on the advice from my OB. So yes, I will drink coffee, I will indulge in sweets, I have eaten uncooked lunch meat, and I have had non alcoholic beer. Once again, every health care provider has different advice and if you’re getting your information mostly based on what you read on the internet then I suggest your check your sources. It may be #fakenews.
I didn’t get an epidural because of so and so…
That’s nice, but I don’t have a high pain tolerance. Plus, I’d rather be calm and enjoy the moment…hopefully. FYI, you don’t get an award or special recognition if you deliver without pain medication. And it is still considered giving birth if you have a C-section. That’s why they are trying to change the nomenclature to “Cesarean Birth.” Let’s stop mom shaming, shall we?
You probably won’t have the baby until…
I didn’t know you can tell the future?! In my experience in L&D, the baby has their own timeline. So whether the baby comes when you think he or she will, I doubt it. I’ve seen first time moms deliver as early as 25 weeks and as late as 42 weeks. That included veteran mamas. I have a due date, but that essentially tells me that after that date my placenta will start to calcify and my baby’s home is starting to deteriorate. So telling me that I will have this baby late just scares me more than helping me prepare.
My baby RIPPED me apart.
That’s nice. I’m hoping that is not the case for me.
You’re planning to breastfeed right?
Yes, but does it even matter? I always told my L&D patients that “fed is best.” Yes, scientifically breast feeding can give better nutrients to the baby but not all women are able to breast feed and formula feeding is their only answer. So, in conclusion, yes, I plan on feeding my child.
Have you thought about saving up for college?
No, I’m actually trying to figure out how I can order more baby things without my husband finding out. Yes education is obviously important, but please! One milestone at a time! I’m still trying to figure out how to keep my plants alive!
You look huge!/ You’re getting so big!
I know it’s in all good spirits of the growing bump, but let’s not forget there is one person you are directing that comment to. Yes, I know I’m growing week by week, but I don’t need to be reminded of how “big” I am getting. And I know some women get really offended by it. Instead of commenting of the woman’s size, maybe you should stay clear and redirect your comment to how beautiful she is looking.
In conclusion…
Keep your comments positive. Lift each other up. Embrace the pregnancy & be kind.
[line] Bumpdate [line]
I am so TIRED. Literally, I can not! After work, I’ll eat dinner and take a 2 hour nap on the couch but will still fall asleep for the whole night. Even this past weekend, I took a 3 hour afternoon nap on both Saturday and Sunday. This baby is sucking the energy from me!
Mexipino is getting more and more active every day! He/She would not stop moving during my dentist appointment, even my hygienist noticed my jumping belly!
My many patients cautiously ask me if I’m pregnant! I love getting their warm wishes and making me feel really good about where I am! But they are so shy to ask and I tell them its ok! I need to start wearing something that says “I’m with child”.
I think I scared Steve in the middle of the night when I started hyperventilating in pain. No worries, friends. I got a charlie horse and was desperately in pain. I wanted an epidural, ASAP. I can already see how labor will be like in the future for me.
I had my 28 week appointment complete with a glass of glucola. Surprisingly, it tasted really good. I don’t know what that says about how much I love sugar. I chose the orange flavor and pretended it was a mimosa, but since I had to drink it within 5 minutes I shot gunned it and patted myself on the back.
Oh, and my OB had to hold this baby down to catch his/her heart rate because he/she WOULD NOT STOP MOVING. I’m also measuring 1cm ahead (fundal height). If you don’t know what fundal height is, it is a measurement from your pubic bone to the top of your uterus. The measurement gives your health care providers an idea of how baby is growing. So yes, my baby is growing and one healthy bundle of joy.
Also, my OB informed me that my hemoglobin has probably dropped (which is normal in third trimester) which explains why I’m so EXHAUSTED.
My baby shower is next weekend and I’m so excited. Mostly for the cake. I should have asked for a donut cake. Or just boxes of donuts from Dunkin’ Donuts.
But I’m also super excited because my mom has been in her creative mode so I’m looking forward to what she has made!
I definitely felt hiccups from Mexipino. I was actually terrified because it felt like a slow, steady heart beat in my belly. I thought something was wrong! I ended up googling it and texting my sister-in-law who both verified that it was indeed hiccups. It does make sense because I mostly felt it in lower right quadrant and during my OB appointment, my doctor said his/her head is down there. Hiccups are actually a good sign signaling the fact that baby’s internal systems are working!
I have been craving a lot of chocolate, especially at night. I never liked chocolate and the only time I did crave it was when I was on my period.
I think I may have started some Braxton Hicks contractions as well! Sometimes I’ll just feel my belly harden up for a of couple minutes then it goes soft afterwards. It doesn’t hurt, it’s just weird. I read that Braxton Hicks are basically practice contractions for the real thing. It’s like my body is preparing for it!
Walking far distances has becoming more difficult and bending down non existent, unless I choose to lay on the ground for a hot second. And if I do bend down to retrieve something, it is accompanied by a baby whale sound.
