Before having a baby, I thought sleep training babies was a ridiculous idea. I ignorantly thought that parents should just suck it up and wake up in the middle of night and take care of their children and stop complaining. THEN, I had a baby of my own and regretted my silly thoughts.
For any parent, actually, for ANY LIVING BEING, sleep is essential. Being well rested is equivalent to a good day of work. How can you take care of your baby if you haven’t taken care of yourself first?
My hubby didn’t have paternity leave so I was lone parenting for the majority of a 24 hour day. I woke up 2-3 times a night to pump/feed Isla then stay awake during the day while Steve went to work. I was exhausted. [Nap when baby naps? No, because my Type A personality had to do laundry, dishes, catch up on social media, stay active as a Beautycounter counsultant, and work on my blog!] I couldn’t complain, because Isla was a good newborn. She ate and sleep, ate and sleep, ate and sleep. Like babies should do. It wasn’t until a month in when a light bulb went off in my head. Maybe she should be napping on a schedule.
I am a scared and cautious first time mom! When she fell asleep and stayed asleep, I’d wonder, is she supposed to be sleeping this long? Is she ok? Is this normal? I didn’t read a lot of books during pregnancy regarding sleep for babies. It just never occurred to me that it should be something I should be aware of. I finally looked up the best books/resources for sleep training. Moms On Call kept coming up on my search engines: a book written by two pediatric nurses, I had to purchase it. (Because solidarity, but also they had the best reviews.)
They encouraged sleep schedules according to age. That’s what I appreciated the most, schedules. The first day I implemented the naps they suggested in accordance to her age, she slept for 7 hours! 7:30pm- 3:30am.
I was so amazed, I wish I started earlier. She did this for a couple months, waking up 1-2x a night, usually around 4am or 5am. I was going back to work and needed her to sleep through the night. (Even though sleeping through the night means 7-8 hours of sleep. I wanted her to sleep longer. Her pediatrician had insisted that she should be sleeping 10 hours at least during her 4 month well child visit.)
How I Changed Her Sleeping Game
I didn’t know what else to do, she wasn’t eating more than 5oz at the time. I even started dream feeding her to fill her tank. I tried tweaking a few things here and there. Then I discovered Taking Cara Babies (@takingcarababies) on instagram. And she changed the game.
I didn’t purchase her classes because it was pricey for me. Plus Isla was sleeping really well, I just wanted her to get rid of her early morning wakings. Cara has awesome videos on her Instagram page with weekly opportunities to ask her questions. So I watched her free videos, read her blog posts, and asked questions which she promptly responded to. It was when I watched one of her videos that fixed everything and Isla began sleeping through the night, 12+ hours consistently.
Here is my key advice: Implement a schedule, not one that is rigid, but one that follows your baby’s cues!
I followed Isla’s cues, using wake windows to guide her naps, being mindful of how long she is sleeping during the day. Babies like routine. So the best thing you can do is create one. It doesn’t have to elaborate, something simple is fine.
For example, I will bring Isla to her nursery, turn on the sound machine, close the blinds, and turn on the fan. (I would then swaddle her with this swaddle, then when she started rolling, I started using this swaddle. Currently, she doesn’t need one, per her preference.) Then I will sit in the rocking chair and sing one verse of Silent Night, then place her in her crib. FINALLY, she will put herself to sleep. Did you read that? She puts herself to sleep which is important because if she does wake up in the middle of the night, she will be able to soothe herself back to sleep. With that, put your baby down when he/she is drowsy, not fully sleeping.
Hiccup Hacks
Point 1: This is important because when babies fall asleep they think they will wake up to the same surroundings. So if you constantly let your baby fall asleep in your arms, they will wake up in the middle of the night confused because you’re not there! Where’s mom/dad? So, if you teach them to self soothe, it will make middle of the night wakings so much better because they will be able to put themselves back to sleep.
Point 2: Is to observe your baby if they wake up in the middle of the night. Maybe they are crying because they are changing positions and trying to get comfortable. No need to pick them up and console them. Give them a few minutes.
Yes, I let her cry it out every now and then, but only for 10 minutes. Usually, at the 10 minute mark she has fallen asleep by that time. If not, I will go back in and rock her for a couple minutes. You cannot spoil a baby. It’s impossible. Maybe a toddler, but not a baby.
Point 3: Finally, here’s another thing I learned. I think it is important to understand your babies cries and what they mean. Think about it, babies communicate by crying. So if you change your way of thinking that babies only cry when they’re hungry into babies cry for multiple reasons not just hunger…it will change the game for you.
As Isla’s mom, I knew what her cries meant. Whether it is a “I’m hungry” cry or “I’m angry” cry. Your baby wants to talk to you, it’s just not easy for us to understand!
In conclusion, what worked for me and Isla was following her cues, using wake windows and deciphering her cries. I highly recommend following @takingcarababies on Instagram and implementing her tips! I can’t comment on her classes since I didn’t take them, but if her posts and Instagram stories were as supportive and as educational, then I think her classes will be worth the splurge!
Why Is Sleep Important?
The National Sleep Foundation states, “Sleep is especially important for children as it directly impacts mental and physical development” (2019, source.) Having a baby that is well rested will benefit them in the long run. Making sure they develop these habits early is imperative to their over all health. Benefits include better concentration, problem solving abilities, more energy, and able to create good relationships (source.)
Age plays into how much sleep your baby should be sleeping. The CDC has their recommendations on their website. They have total hours, so be mindful of nap times as well!
Let’s not forget about you, the parent! Sleep is important to every living being. We can’t function without it, no matter how much coffee we can consume. We need sleep to fully recharge and have a clear mind for the following day. Remember, a happy baby is a happy mom. (Happy wife, happy life, am I right?)
How Early Can I Start Sleep Training?
Developmentally, around 4 months is best (source.) However, I started training Isla at 6 weeks and immediately starting sleeping 7-8 hours a night. They say 4 months because that’s when babies are developmentally able to self soothe. Honestly, it is never too early to develop good sleep habits in my opinion. But, I want to point out that not every baby is the same. That’s why I say you need to follow your baby’s cues. Just because I got Isla to sleep through the night so early, doesn’t mean I will have the same luck with future babies!
Time for sleep! 
After singing, she put herself down!
Teacup Tips
- Purchase a sound machine. Not one that places lullabies, but one that purely blocks noise. I swear everytime I turn it on, Isla knows its time to close her eyes. We use this one.
- BlackOut Window Blinds. Babies will wake up with the slightest peep of light.
- Don’t give up. It’ll take time to get it down. So keep everything consistent.
- Don’t compare your baby with someone else’s. No baby is perfect. Don’t compare your journey with another. I mean it!
- Follow your baby’s cues. A rigid schedule isn’t helpful. By using your baby’s cues, it’ll help both you and your child get a goodnight sleep!
- Consider how much your baby is eating. Is it enough or maybe too much?
- Sleeping too much or not enough during the day? Refer back to what the CDC recommends and change up how long or how short your baby is sleeping.
- Put baby down when he/she is drowsy. This is so important because it teaches themselves to self soothe. If you don’t, they will expect you to rock them to sleep every night.
- Have them nap in their cribs. They need to get used to sleeping in their crib. Some babies have problems transitioning out of the bassinet. I would have Isla nap in her room then at night, then we would bring her into our room for the overnight sleep. 1). Because I wasn’t ready to sleep without her next to me and 2.) We didn’t have a baby monitor and I needed to keep eyes on her #newmom #helicoptermom. Once she started rolling, we started leaving her in her crib over night.
- Illness: Once your baby has settled into his/her schedule, you will notice when something is off. For example, I noticed I was having trouble putting Isla down for a couple days. I thought maybe she is “leaping” or going through a growth spurt. It wasn’t until her pediatrician appointment when he said “she has a mild ear infection” when everything made sense. She was fussier to put down and waking up in the middle of the night. I also saw her pull on her ear but thought nothing of it. So when your baby starts deviating from his/her regular schedule, you may wonder, “maybe he/she is sick?”
- Clap for yourself. Everything you do is a small win! Did your baby nap for 20 minutes? Great! Did you get to shower during that nap? YAS GIRL. Did your baby smile at you? That will make even the worst of days, better. Everything you do for your baby and your family is honorable. Do not let someone else’s win downplay your own.
- Follow @takingcarababies for all your questions and other helpful tips!
- Lastly, give yourself grace. You’re doing the best you can.
