I like to reiterate the fact that I am a new mom and I have no expert advice at all. I just like to share the truths, no matter how embarrassing they are. That being said, I’m sharing the problems I had the first couple months. Things that I had to re-learn, adjust, and simply FIGURE IT OUT!
Every time I find myself struggling, I just look at Isla and say, “It’s ok, we’re both figuring it out.” Just having someone in the same boat as me, brings me back down to earth. I’m not the only one anymore.
Leaving the House: I remember the first time I left the house, just Isla and myself. Of course our first outing was Target. I drove straight there and back. I was so scared! And like any new parent, you know it’s a strategic plan to go anywhere with a baby. Making sure I had an extra bottle of milk, diapers, wipes, pacificer..etc. I had to think about it for a couple days, planning how I will do it. I even googled “safe to put car seat in grocery cart” because I think of all the things… I made sure to pump, feed, and change her diaper before we left. I only had two hours before her next feed and my next pump. It all worked out and she slept the entire time!
Cooking and Cleaning: I barely cooked the first month, but once I got comfortable with it…I was thankful for babywearing. A friend had gave us her old baby carrier and it was clutch when it came to cooking/cleaning. Marie Kondo was trending during this time, so I literally wore Isla while I cleaned out my pantry. I felt more joy and Isla got some zzzs! When people say they can’t watch the baby and cook, I know they’re full of s***, because they’re just not trying hard enough.
Waking Up: This gave me the most stress. I would be up at 3am and then 5:30am to feed/pump, then officially get up around 8am. It would usually clash with her next feeding but it would also be time for my next pump! It was literally a juggling act for the first month and a half. I didn’t have any help because my husband was already out the door for work. Honestly, once I sleep trained her and dropped my 3am pump, it got so much easier to make a routine in the morning. Eventually, she would sleep through her 3am feed and I would be able to pump before her morning feed. Then I would be able to bring all my supplies downstairs, get blankets down on the floor, wash my pumping equipment, then go back upstairs to get Isla and start our day. If you’re currently struggling in the morning, it will get better mama!
Breastfeeding/Pumping: I’ll go into more detail in another post about why I stopped breastfeeding and chose to exclusively pump but I honestly did not have enough support to help me. The lactation consultants had free support groups weekly, but who was going to drive me? I couldn’t drive for 2 weeks! So I salute every mama who was able to soldier through. Plus, I did not get along with the lactation consultant at my hospital. So maybe I was doomed from the start? Some women have asked me how I leave the house if I exclusively pump…it’s easy pump before you leave the house and pump when you get back home. If needed, pump in the car. I have pumped while driving, but only do so if you’re able to do it!
Diapers: I’m not talking about the Isla’s diapers, I’m talking about the granny panties with the humongous pads post partum women wear. I actually liked them. In a weird way, it felt like it was supporting my bottom like putting it back together. Plus, I added an ice pack for extra comfort. I know all the mamas can agree with me.
Napping: I didn’t realize that napping was a thing for babies. Yes, I’m clueless. Throw mean words at me. I mean, I knew they slept and ate and slept and ate. But once I read more about sleep training and how to put your baby on a schedule…this literally changed my life. I was able to get my life back in order. I guess I never changed my way of thinking that babies should nap during the day and sleep at night. Once I changed my thinking, it all made sense to me.
Self Care: This was difficult because I literally put all my energy into Isla. But like I said, once I sleep trained her. I was able to do all the things: shower, makeup, change clothes, etc. For days I wore the same clothes, maybe showered twice a week. Barely wore makeup. Maybe straightened my hair. It’s all about balance.
Driving/Minivan: I NEVER thought I would drive a minivan. I was anti-soccer mom. But when I first tried to put Isla in my jeep and when we took our first road trip to NW Indiana, I was done. There was no room, her car seat pushed the passenger seat all the way up, Domer barely fit…I was done. Give me the minivan, and it has been one of the best purchases we have ever made. Power sliding doors, extra cup holders, plenty of space…and I’m able to store the stroller without a problem. Plus, extra room for all my Target shopping bags.
Mom Guilt/Shame: I’m still marching my way through all the parenting shamers. Yes it is hurtful, but then again. I’m a new mom I have no idea what I am doing. I wasn’t trained in college for this! I’m honestly doing my best. My sister in law told me and I ALWAYS think about to this, “You know your baby. You spend the most time with him/her. Don’t let anyone tell you different.” (Something along those lines.) Every time I get shade, I think back to that thought. I’m doing the best for my baby. No one knows what I go through.
